I am the vacation.
Not so much the destination,
As I am visited when the leaves have fallen and the trees stand bare.
When the chilled words of winter leave the lips of your lovers.
It is me that you come to when the nights grow long and cold.
My covers are where you find refuge.
And like a shelter I take you in without question.
You hang your coat on my branches and absorb the warmth that I offer.
You water me with intensity and my leaves grow.
Creating a canopy that shields you from the troubles you turn a blind eye to.
I am the rain forest and you’re just a surveyor that was curious of my beauty.
You’ll order bulldozers to destroy me within a fortnight.
This form of mine is wasted.
On constant false relations.
Hoping that my love can someday be reciprocated.
Am I less of man to admit that I get lonely.
My hands kept warm by the illuminated keyboard as I type out lines of poetry
Confessing a need for a deeper connection.
Sometimes I want my mind to be undressed instead of my khakis.
I promise that my compassion is easier to swallow.
I’m the type of man that wants to hold hands
While we stand
Inside of a planetarium laughing about inside jokes quietly to ourselves.
The smell of romance lingering in the air.
As the universe is explained to us by Morgan Freeman.
She follows the rhythm that flows through my fingers.
Sharing similar taste as her’s lingers.
In my mouth the taste of her flesh; I desire more.
Sliding nail down soft skin as we converse with the sun rising.
Grazing over expectations with our fingertips.
Our lips dissecting the barriers from past battles.
We plant ourselves in common ground.
Her skin absorbs the sun the same way I want to absorb her.
My hands attempt to carve away the uncertainty that I see in her eyes.
I want to chase her across the country.
Over the mountains, through the desert, across lakes and rivers.
I want to watch her body flow into mine.
While time melts into a blend of colors as we hold hands.
The way her hair falls over her face is a beautifully orchestrated masterpiece.
Carefully engineered the way her smile creeps into my morning thoughts.
As I stare at the coffee that now shares a space with her in my morning routine.
Clinging to this bliss that she brings with her.
As my thoughts manifest fantasies of when I’ll be next to her again.
Trying to awake from slumber.
Tied down by chains painted in gold.
Gold teeth dig into the roof of my mouth.
Making it hard to speak.
I leave a nightmare where we requested a dream.
Swimming endlessly into the oblivion that my strength has created.
I am stronger than my peers, but they have all the power.
Wasting the atoms that the stars gave me to impress my brothers.
I am in need of guidance.
My son’s doom is painted by my mistakes.
I miss her.
And I hate that I do.
The crevices of my intellect rust over without her.
I am nocturnal in a time when the sun never sets.
Unable to reflect because every decision is made anew.
The blueprint is hard to understand without the architect.
I wish she would just call me randomly at an obscure time.
When I’m reading just before leaving work.
Learning about how to better my life.
I wish she would just call me.
I want to say hello to her once more.
I want to greet her one more time.
I sit alone on this throne.
As the poison exhales through my pores.
Thinking about an ancient time when I could hear my heartbeat.
I use to text her poetry.
When we were in love.
And when love seemed absent.
Poetry is what I would send her.
Maybe I should have sent myself in every text.
In every text that I felt to send.
Maybe I should have sent myself.
Started my car and drove to where she was.
I often wonder if she doubted my devotion.
If she doubted that I felt for her the way I did.
If I felt like the rings of Saturn only remained in place because of her.
My best memories of my life include her.
Did my parents fail in sheltering me from harsh truths that I could not yet fathom?
Or was she simply more than I could bare.
I want another.
I want to feel your warmth as I enter you.
Discovering the hidden parts of your rain forest that your soul created.
Reaching in the deepest parts of your oasis;
Searching for you, within you.
I waited for the river to reach me.
I stood there with my toes clutching at the earth.
Burying my roots into the ground.
Waiting to be watered.
The sun glaring, burning as the coils of my hair extended to the blue sky.
My skin pulsed with blood as the wind juked around the trees that surrounded me.
My breath ebbed and flowed from my soul to my lungs.
My body was it’s own organ.
A cell that belonged to a colossus of unimaginable scale.
Yet the simplicity of life is found in quiet.
Loud silences that echoed underneath my shades.
Traversing my gold plated bones.