w.O.W – without Wonder

w.O.W – without Wonder

I have needed to write for some time.

I have needed to cleanse with a pen this pain that hangs around my neck like a golden-plated noose.

My toenails chip away from the concrete as I deplete my mental reserves.

Blended into monotony.

Scrapping the earth desperately wanting to be rooted.

My vision,

Planted on gigantic expectations.

Wow.

I’ve been ripping my eyes out every time they rejuvenate themselves.

Missing my Mark.

Where is the poison maker when I need them to grab something that’s top shelf.

What good is me having wealth if everyone is deserving of the same tip.

I am promised nothing when I order drinks.

Wow.

No need to water them down because it’s all lies now.

Alcohol free but now it’s my life that stings.

I sing better when I’m sober.

I cry more easily too.

Go figure.

I’m not the winner anymore.

I’ve been throwing hollow coffee cups at decaying doors.

Hoping she’ll unlock them and let me back in one day.

Wow.

I’m not the winner no more.

Negating the need for double negatives.

Multiply my decisions in hopes they turn into positive additions.

Subtracted from the fact that I still overreact to every possible love interest.

Hand me a sedative and watch me vent all my opinions before I fade into oblivion.

I need you to hear me.

I need to be heard or else these words carry no meaning.

My lack of sleeping is from weeping.

I’m two-sided and my pillow is the only one that knows,

That both of them are cold.

Pickles

Pickles

You heard the struggle in my wrist
as I tried to open the jar of secrets
that you so desperately needed to hear.

Reflections of silence echoing
off my tin plated chandelier.

Paradroid

Paradroid

I am stuck in this shell that is made of many metals.
Surveying the landscape,

Looking for other metals to put onto the metals that have been there for years.

But every metal I find is of an origin that I do not know.
And then it causes me to wonder.
Do I even know how I got to be the way that I am.
How did I end up here,
With all these unfamiliar parts.

Un-trending

Un-trending

Don’t let this be a trend.
Or a good book that we open and never read the end.
Don’t let this be a good movie that remains unplayed
After we paid money to watch it.
I want this to breathe infinitely.
Into the coils of our children.
I want it to strangle them until they’re body adapts and they inhale it
I want it to etch itself into the insides of our voices.
So we no longer have to whisper our greatness.
Across the bottom of our phrases and dialect.
I want the paint on our faces and our personalities to be permanent.
Like a black marker
Slashing across pages in a history book.

Tarnished

Tarnished

There is a clock on the back of his hand.
Ticking constantly.
As time is known to do.
The seconds clicking over his skin.
Leaving cuts that will never heal.
Permanent reminders of every misstep.
Minutes slowly dragging, edging deeper.
Slicing over scabs and dried blood.
Deep thunderous knocking that rattles knuckles.
The gears twisting skin.
Forming wrinkles on fingers.
Joints rotating in painful ways.
Tarnished brass that no longer has a reflection.
Unable to see himself.
Time has not be kind,
To the man that has not been kind.

Dear Breath of Fresh Air

Dear Breath of Fresh Air

I will say this to you plainly. You are someone that I admire. From your soft feet to your perfectly “managed” head of hair. From your deep contemplation to your to your laughter induced conversations. You are calming.

An ocean breeze that gently nuzzles my leaves. Your smile is a prism of happiness that I feel beyond the tips of my branches. You linger throughout the tentacles of my thoughts.

Complex metamorphic rock that absorbs heat and sunlight. You warm my heart. Glazing honey over my arteries as your affection pumps through me.

I want to be for you, as much as I am with you.

Dense Love

Dense Love

I seek a love that that is dense,

Growing in every direction.

Infecting rainbows that show themselves after rainy days.

I want to make time from scratch.

From photons and neutrons, I want to create the fabric this love is wrapped in.

Grant me passage to your ecosystem,

So I can wash away the dead cells.

I seek a love that purges.

Let me gargle what ails you.

I am the cleanser,

Seeking a love our descendants will remember.

Buried in the seams of their genes.

I seek a love I can reflect on.

Looking up at mirrored images on ice flung from comets.

Gazing into the womb of forever.

I want us to bloom together.

Synthesizing spiritual nectar.

For our offspring to take back to the hive of our ancestors.

I want to draft a cosmic letter.

With a love that reaches beyond forever.