Four Score and a few weeks ago

IMG_20140713_233630This hiatus is the worst. Wondering if there is or was or not. So tongue tied I have to proofread the final draft. We hang there in that zone between time and responsibility. The unknown slowly became known and the curiosity became intrigue. As I sat there and watched you speak I began to feel myself drifting. Drifting into that feeling of having your favorite ice cream the first day of summer. Or that feeling of putting your hands by a fire during the winter.

And every conversation we had was a reassurance of what I had known to be true. Though I am naturally reserved at heart when it comes to feelings of that exact subject matter. I was in fact aware of what was going on. Other than the occasional grin here and there the outsider wouldn’t know that I am naturally a happy person. And here I was smiling uncontrollably, my jaws begged me to take a break, but I refused.

Deeper and deeper I gazed into those eyes of yours. As if they held some great secret about myself that I didn’t know. Our conversations were enjoyable, it gave me a reason to stare at you and not be met with an abrupt “what!?”

It was always one sided in that aspect, until I felt a change in you. You began to focus on me more as I spoke. Your eyes wandering. As if you wanted to understand me more. A quick meeting of the eyes was replaced with a lingering stare. It was hard not to grin and look away once I noticed this. You noticed it also. We joked about it.

I wanted to become accustomed to you. Like the way I’m accustomed to the sky being blue. A natural feeling of certainty. Even though I enjoyed my time in a new city, somehow I knew it wouldn’t quite be the same had I had come on my own accord. Every small landmark that I came in contact with has a memory of you tied to it. Those four days. Impressionable. A great impression. Though things do come up and we are left with a stiff drink chased with a bit of responsibility. Sometimes good things come from being reckless. Hopefully the hangover isn’t too bad and the memories aren’t forgotten.

If it was up to me. They wouldn’t be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s