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I wish I had broken a girl’s heart. Watched her core explode. The shrapnel piercing my mind. Watch the idea of me turn to fragments in her now hollow shell. She’d take a dagger to her own soul. Decay in front of me as I gave her a blank stare. She’d look for our future in my eyes, but wouldn’t see it. Only a reflection of herself. Trying to analyze what she’d done wrong. What kind of chaos she had brought unto herself. It wouldn’t be her fault, but I wouldn’t tell her that. I wish I had lied and told a girl what she wanted to hear instead of what she needed to. What mystery lies in the truth? Coax her into making love to me while her kingdom fell. A Queen Slayer. I’d leave her walls defenseless. Execute her guards under the concealment of night. Exercise my ability to move quickly into other chambers. Assure her I’d do no harm to her. My love wouldn’t be a lie, but I’d quickly risk it without a second thought. I wish I had this ambition. This thirst to leave someone who didn’t deserve it. Leave their very essence in an unexplainable ache. Cause them to lose themselves in futility. Thier efforts will go unrewarded. My gift to them would be a loose smile. Try again I would whisper into my hand as I place it on their shoulder. Try again. Watch them fumble everything they stood for. The river of doubt would take their corpse to the ocean. Allow them to drown themselves in what they imagine was a way back into my heart. It wouldn’t be. Having control over someone like that must be entralling. I wish I could do these things.
But.
I simply.
Can’t.

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