I’m that mistake. That extra shot of whiskey you shouldn’t have taken. That bump that put you over the edge. The cap that left your mind unrivaled. Unable to put itself back together. And yet a mistake that you have fused to your desires. So effortless is the way you fall into the same trap you set for yourself time and time again. How graceful you fall on your own sword. Using the last of your strength to drink me like an antidote to cope with a creeping ailment of your own design. Wield me like a broken shield. A false sense of security. A misguided attempt to label me as having more worth than just a numbing agent for when your cataclysm comes to fruition. When every barrier but the last one has fallen. Surrender your morals for just a moment at the expense of gaining self worth. So easily you abandon your false utopia in hopes that you may create another.
And I. Willing. Eager to be your sweet curse. It’s what I am in my downtime. What I do while my favorite anime is downloading. While I wait for my code to compile. You are the cure for my writers block. And yet I did not always wish to be your second wind. How hard it would be for me to be anything more now. I’m the reason you awake from your dream choking. That nightmare that you must accept to get a night’s sleep. I am powerful when you are at your weakest. A haunting memory that you would relive again the moment your life falls to shambles.
I will always be that overplayed track that you put on repeat.