Dear Girl in Highschool with the Flower in your hair that one time,
It’s been nearly a decade since the last time we talked face to face. And though we’ve bumped into each other in the real world I never really felt like we talked. We more or less saw each other as something we had to walk around. A door were the password to open it was small talk. I remember thinking after we parted ways. “She use to smile a lot more.”
We had a class together during our Senior year. English. You were one of the cool girls. Not the one who had a type of clique or following, but the one who my eyes followed whenever you would walk in the classroom; Or if I saw you out in the hallway. That was a trying time for us, both of us had no idea what we were doing. Not that we dated or anything, but there was a time when I asked a girl out and she turned me down. She did that infront of everyone. Luckily high school was the perfect time for me to perfect my poker face, so I shrugged it off and made a joke. You noticed my disappointment and walked up to me and said “I’ll go to Starbucks with you.”
My favorite part in Grease is where Danny Zuko tries to act cool infront of his friends after getting excited about seeing Sandy Olsson. That was my recreation of that. I flipped the colar of my faux-leather jacket and made a joke about one of those Zane books that everyone was reading during that time. Part of me assumed you were joking, mostly in part because I didn’t want to fall into a trap of appearing like I really did just ask that other girl out. Even though I clearly did. It’s strange that I still think about that at random times in my life. There’s a lesson behind that. One that I’m sure everyone else my age understands and is aware of now.
Fuck what everyone else thinks. Even your friends. What gain is it to surround yourself with people that you like, but who wouldn’t like you if you were being yourself. Friends aren’t always forever.
At that time in my life I did care how I was viewed by other people. It didn’t come until 2 years later that I stopped caring. My choice of clothing completely changed, but that isn’t what I’m getting at.
Girl in Highschool with the Flower in your hair that one time, I know that life weighs you down and sometimes you’re molded into someone you never saw yourself being. The trick is to resist it. I say this, because when I saw you; That flair that was easily recognized about you was gone. It sounds silly saying you carried yourself in high school better than you do now, but I wouldn’t think it if it wasn’t true. You no longer stood out, you had become what a lot of girls from high school became. A carbon-copy. Just as if you came off an assembly line. Just like the first prototype of AI. Maybe you’ll snap out of it. You owe it to yourself to do that.