Trying to awake from slumber.
Tied down by chains painted in gold.
Gold teeth dig into the roof of my mouth.
Making it hard to speak.
I leave a nightmare where we requested a dream.
Swimming endlessly into the oblivion that my strength has created.
I am stronger than my peers, but they have all the power.
Wasting the atoms that the stars gave me to impress my brothers.
I am in need of guidance.
My son’s doom is painted by my mistakes.
I miss her.
And I hate that I do.
The crevices of my intellect rust over without her.
I am nocturnal in a time when the sun never sets.
Unable to reflect because every decision is made anew.
The blueprint is hard to understand without the architect.
I wish she would just call me randomly at an obscure time.
When I’m reading just before leaving work.
Learning about how to better my life.
I wish she would just call me.
I want to say hello to her once more.
I want to greet her one more time.
I sit alone on this throne.
As the poison exhales through my pores.
Thinking about an ancient time when I could hear my heartbeat.
I use to text her poetry.
When we were in love.
And when love seemed absent.
Poetry is what I would send her.
Maybe I should have sent myself in every text.
In every text that I felt to send.
Maybe I should have sent myself.
Started my car and drove to where she was.
I often wonder if she doubted my devotion.
If she doubted that I felt for her the way I did.
If I felt like the rings of Saturn only remained in place because of her.
My best memories of my life include her.
Did my parents fail in sheltering me from harsh truths that I could not yet fathom?
Or was she simply more than I could bare.
I want another.
I want to feel your warmth as I enter you.
Discovering the hidden parts of your rain forest that your soul created.
Reaching in the deepest parts of your oasis;
Searching for you, within you.
I waited for the river to reach me.
I stood there with my toes clutching at the earth.
Burying my roots into the ground.
Waiting to be watered.
The sun glaring, burning as the coils of my hair extended to the blue sky.
My skin pulsed with blood as the wind juked around the trees that surrounded me.
My breath ebbed and flowed from my soul to my lungs.
My body was it’s own organ.
A cell that belonged to a colossus of unimaginable scale.
Yet the simplicity of life is found in quiet.
Loud silences that echoed underneath my shades.
Traversing my gold plated bones.
I am a fan buying a woman gifts.
Connecting the dots
As I shop for myself with the person I spend moments with.
Locating the rift
In our personal wardrobes.
Remembering conversations where I was told.
Her favorite type of clothes.
Careful calculations as I offer suggestions to complete the equation on what it is they desire.
Cropped photos of sweaters of different shades waiting for her to give me the OK.
The way her face grins as she steps into the sundress that I suggest.
I know what she likes.
If I would get it wrong she would send me quickly back to the drawing board.
Here I am
Figuring her out
One garment at a time.
I like it when she’s aggressive.
How she grips my soul when she tosses one leg over my imagination.
Mounting me like a dragon, cutting my scales as she drags her fingernails over my armor.
Whispering incantations into my ear.
Turning flesh into stone as her words carve hieroglyphs onto my bones.
So intimate that when she moans I hear my own moans in the back of my mind.
She closes her eyes but still I see passed her eye lids into the nothingness as she commands me.
Her hair swaying in the wind that she conjures around us.
As I am lifted into the void.
My name is whispered from between her thighs.
She is the amalgamation of pleasure.
Her skin radiates alongside mine as she takes me away to a paradise made of carved ice and liquid fire.
She let’s go of my soul as she places it between her lips.
She kisses me just as the world begins to manifest itself around us.
The gills in my lungs that are dormant,
I would reawaken.
If it is your love
That I can drink in.
You are the carbon,
Of which my being is based,
If I could say what it is that I adore about you.
It would be your taste.
Your taste in men like me
Is what leaves me stunned.
Where other’s saw hundreds,
You only saw one.
Out of old scars,
As you unraveled my mind.
Playing your guitar.
My smile was covered,
By the afro you maintain.
After I kissed your forehead,
While we stood in the rain.
The right to defend your love is not mine.
Though I will take up arms,
If so ever came the time.