The gills in my lungs that are dormant,
I would reawaken.
If it is your love
That I can drink in.
You are the carbon,
Of which my being is based,
If I could say what it is that I adore about you.
It would be your taste.
Your taste in men like me
Is what leaves me stunned.
Where other’s saw hundreds,
You only saw one.
Out of old scars,
As you unraveled my mind.
Playing your guitar.
My smile was covered,
By the afro you maintain.
After I kissed your forehead,
While we stood in the rain.
The right to defend your love is not mine.
Though I will take up arms,
If so ever came the time.
In a misguided attempt to fly without wings he fell to his doom.
Living his life based on the opinion of his peers. He made no room for himself inside his soul. Shoving and constricting. Twisting and bending to fit into the iron box that was constructed by people who didn’t even know his last name. In the day time he played video games and read research about evolution while listening to Herbie Hancock.
At night he roamed the streets while kicking over trashcans filled with his parent’s expectations. Wondering in his mind if they too, were misguided. Howling at the moon like a crazed wolf. Waking up in places unfamiliar. Next to warm bodies that held onto him like he was the last breath that they would ever need. Holding him down like vines over abandoned concrete. His soul waiting on the street sweeper to cleanse the debris.
He laid there; In a catatonic state, wondering.
“Why doesn’t anyone rescue me?”
He is use to being the one that people retreat to.
When the front line is being bombarded by arrows. When the spears strike from a distance that doesn’t allow retaliation.
He stands with his arms extended toward the chaos-
not expecting for anyone to save him.
She worries about her smile,
All the while it reminds me of starlight in the moonlight.
Just as works of art take time to develop
like photographs in a dark room.
She were beautiful before the cocoon,
And she will be after.
Her interest in her inadequacies,
And the probability of her not being enough is a miscalculation,
Of what she can bring to the relation.
And to that I say;
She is the reason my cup runeth over.
I don’t mind being sober while we sit by the fire that grows between us.
Small goodbyes and indulgent hellos,
Becoming entangled as we run our fingers through each others fros.
She is the monarch butterfly who’s design can’t be replicated.
Intricate be design with eyes that leave me sedated.
With banter that is witty and insightful,
The time I spend with her is always delightful.
Organic conversation that is pure,
For the loneliness that I feel-
She is the cure.
This is a place of darkness, please keep me well.
This is a place of darkness, please keep me well as I dive into the fish bowl of life.
Hoping that it can satiate my appetite.
Hoping that I can satiate her appetite.
So that when I wake in the middle of the night, she’s there to my right.
It’s been a long time since I been in love.
Someone please remind me what that feels like.
Has life ever been so bright you’re not sure if you’re doing wrong or right.
You just assume because you feel warm.
Instead of feeling torn between two ideas you just have one.
And she has the same as you, togetherness is all that you two care for.
It’s all that you two want to do.
A monsoon of emotion that’s contained in a glass bubble.
At the slightest hint of trouble there’s just a shake, but the glass doesn’t break.
That’s called security.
Blurring the line between what matters and what’s the matter.
Hearts melting away like peppermints after dinner, but before the kiss.
The taste of mint reminds me of the feeling of being missed.
I’m in love with the memories of when I was in love.
And for now that will do.
Until I meet someone that doesn’t remind me of you.
I sling my confidence like a claymore.
Shatter her shield into a million pieces.
Now she calls me a keeper.
She’s writing a thesis about how blacks never needed Jesus.
We just need each other.
If I ever have any kids, I hope she’s the mother.
She always calls me out whenever I backtrack.
Looking for attention uploading shit on Instagram and Snapchat.
She inspires me to paint but I never do.
She licks her thumb to wipe off my ex’s old residue.
When she walks away it’s like the first time I ever seen the sunset.
I know she’ll be back when I expect it.
She leaves vines over concrete as she exhales her footsteps.
Gives gravity permission to keep her grounded.
Bending steel with her eyes.
Creating steam between her thighs.
My brain laced in her lace.
She sidesteps cupid’s arrows.
Her love is never taken, it’s given.
As I trip and fall into her rhythm.
I side with my emotions at times when my rational mind has the best interest for myself. The rational me feels like if I’m heartless then she won’t have strings to pull onto whenever I take a step backward. The idea that I should coat my heart in oil to prevent anyone from holding onto it speaks to me in volumes. I’ve gotten good at cutting people off. I feel like a comet that got caught into your gravitational pull; Covered your sky in a crystal-like ice.
You held on just long enough just to see the wonders that I keep locked away. You never reclaimed your core from the last person you gave it to like you lead me to believe. Two comets colliding because of your carelessness. I care not for conflict, but all a man has is his name when the curtain closes. I would be defending a kingdom that had already fallen. When it all comes to a conclusion, I would have wasted my time on two occasions. I expected more to be born from this so I put logic aside and attempted to navigate this maelstrom. I feel foolish for indulging in your game; Another unwanted lesson.
The memories that I thought good have been washed away by the insult that your actions have painted without words. I’m still not certain what your intentions were. I offered you a breath of fresh air, but what will stop you from choking on the pollution that you created now that I’m gone?