w.O.W – without Wonder

w.O.W – without Wonder

I have needed to write for some time.

I have needed to cleanse with a pen this pain that hangs around my neck like a golden-plated noose.

My toenails chip away from the concrete as I deplete my mental reserves.

Blended into monotony.

Scrapping the earth desperately wanting to be rooted.

My vision,

Planted on gigantic expectations.

Wow.

I’ve been ripping my eyes out every time they rejuvenate themselves.

Missing my Mark.

Where is the poison maker when I need them to grab something that’s top shelf.

What good is me having wealth if everyone is deserving of the same tip.

I am promised nothing when I order drinks.

Wow.

No need to water them down because it’s all lies now.

Alcohol free but now it’s my life that stings.

I sing better when I’m sober.

I cry more easily too.

Go figure.

I’m not the winner anymore.

I’ve been throwing hollow coffee cups at decaying doors.

Hoping she’ll unlock them and let me back in one day.

Wow.

I’m not the winner no more.

Negating the need for double negatives.

Multiply my decisions in hopes they turn into positive additions.

Subtracted from the fact that I still overreact to every possible love interest.

Hand me a sedative and watch me vent all my opinions before I fade into oblivion.

I need you to hear me.

I need to be heard or else these words carry no meaning.

My lack of sleeping is from weeping.

I’m two-sided and my pillow is the only one that knows,

That both of them are cold.

Paradroid

Paradroid

I am stuck in this shell that is made of many metals.
Surveying the landscape,

Looking for other metals to put onto the metals that have been there for years.

But every metal I find is of an origin that I do not know.
And then it causes me to wonder.
Do I even know how I got to be the way that I am.
How did I end up here,
With all these unfamiliar parts.

Tarnished

Tarnished

There is a clock on the back of his hand.
Ticking constantly.
As time is known to do.
The seconds clicking over his skin.
Leaving cuts that will never heal.
Permanent reminders of every misstep.
Minutes slowly dragging, edging deeper.
Slicing over scabs and dried blood.
Deep thunderous knocking that rattles knuckles.
The gears twisting skin.
Forming wrinkles on fingers.
Joints rotating in painful ways.
Tarnished brass that no longer has a reflection.
Unable to see himself.
Time has not be kind,
To the man that has not been kind.

Dense Love

Dense Love

I seek a love that that is dense,

Growing in every direction.

Infecting rainbows that show themselves after rainy days.

I want to make time from scratch.

From photons and neutrons, I want to create the fabric this love is wrapped in.

Grant me passage to your ecosystem,

So I can wash away the dead cells.

I seek a love that purges.

Let me gargle what ails you.

I am the cleanser,

Seeking a love our descendants will remember.

Buried in the seams of their genes.

I seek a love I can reflect on.

Looking up at mirrored images on ice flung from comets.

Gazing into the womb of forever.

I want us to bloom together.

Synthesizing spiritual nectar.

For our offspring to take back to the hive of our ancestors.

I want to draft a cosmic letter.

With a love that reaches beyond forever.

 

Flower Bed

Flower Bed

I fell into a garden of flowers.
And my skin melted into a softness.
Exposing tendons and symetrical structures of bone.
At first
I laid there,
Rotting away
Being absorbed into something greater than me.
There was a panic
As I fought and struggled,
My spine snapped, exposing malliable tissue.
My claws and fangs bored holes so big
They swallowed the radiating light being cast from the flowers that surrounded me.
Snarling as the vines tried to repair my broken spine.
My fangs struck, tearing petals and the remainder of my skin.
Pieces of me flew into the air
Cascading with leaves and stems.
The vines tugged at my frame and I was unable to move.
Frozen, I felt a calm come over me.
My eyes filled with tears as flowers began to grow out me.

Dis-jointed Connection

Dis-jointed Connection

I have loved more often than I have taken full breaths.
The caverns of my heart that are left

are ancient.
Predating hints of depression that I ward off using the leftover vapors
from tears of pass lovers.
Hiding under the covers with others
To escape responsibility.
Which vice shall I indulge in this time?
The bottle whispers to me when I’m faced with rejection.
It seems that pouring my heart into a shot glass is too much for some women.
They don’t like it straight.
So I pretend to be uninterested on dates.
I have to create the ruse that I have someone else to fallback on.
This is exhausting.
I’ve grown use to being the vacation.
Rarely am I the destination.

Impurities trickle down my neck
As I wonder how I can hold her interest.
The bridge doesn’t easily connect.
As I breathe in her lust.
My lungs begin to fill with regret.

Blend

Blend

My mind is sleepless

As I rest between the creases of what it is I like about you.

Subtle notes of lavender fill my senses

As we commence to go out on dates in lands to us that are unfamiliar.

Our words and laughter are unfiltered as I exhale into my cup of coffee.

Placing a hand on your leg as you speak our future into existence.

Planting seeds of fortune into my remembrance.

Stitching cloths together from two different tribes.

Painting each others faces with kisses.

Submerging ourselves into each other’s existence.