I have needed to write for some time.
I have needed to cleanse with a pen this pain that hangs around my neck like a golden-plated noose.
My toenails chip away from the concrete as I deplete my mental reserves.
Blended into monotony.
Scrapping the earth desperately wanting to be rooted.
Planted on gigantic expectations.
I’ve been ripping my eyes out every time they rejuvenate themselves.
Missing my Mark.
Where is the poison maker when I need them to grab something that’s top shelf.
What good is me having wealth if everyone is deserving of the same tip.
I am promised nothing when I order drinks.
No need to water them down because it’s all lies now.
Alcohol free but now it’s my life that stings.
I sing better when I’m sober.
I cry more easily too.
I’m not the winner anymore.
I’ve been throwing hollow coffee cups at decaying doors.
Hoping she’ll unlock them and let me back in one day.
I’m not the winner no more.
Negating the need for double negatives.
Multiply my decisions in hopes they turn into positive additions.
Subtracted from the fact that I still overreact to every possible love interest.
Hand me a sedative and watch me vent all my opinions before I fade into oblivion.
I need you to hear me.
I need to be heard or else these words carry no meaning.
My lack of sleeping is from weeping.
I’m two-sided and my pillow is the only one that knows,
That both of them are cold.